Thoughts to my children

I came across a journal entry that I had written shortly after Rem was born the other day. It didn't say anything special that was going on I'm pretty sure it started out saying I woke up and ate a bowl of cereal, but as I was reading through it i was taken back to that time in my life and a few of the things i was feeling and experiencing.  It just went to show me how something so little can remind me of so much.  Whenever this happens (which it has many times) i'm always filled with regret of how much I have missed by not keeping better journals of our lives.  This time with a new born goes by so quickly and I feel is such a sacred experience I hate letting it all pass by without recording any of it. I am really going to try to make it a habit to start journaling closer to a few times a week rather than once every few months and I wasn't to use my blog to do this. We'll see how this goes!!!

My precious sleeping baby. I love this picture of you. You are so beautiful. I look at every piece of you and marvel at how perfect you are. I feel so blessed to have you as mine and I also feel the great responsibility that is put on me as your mother to teach you about the purpose of this life.  Who you are and help you to return home to our heavenly father.  You came to this earth to get a body and are counting on me to help you do all that you need to to return to heavenly father.  I love you Tristan and I promise I am trying my best to do this. Please be patient with me as I am only human and will make many mistakes doing going this.  I also want you to know how much strength you give to me by just being you.  I know you are an amazing spirit. I felt your powerful spirit when I was pregnant with you and again in the hospital after you were born.  You are so special and I know our heavenly father has a plan for you that only you can accomplish.  I love you baby boy, thank you for choosing me to be your mother and trusting me with your precious life.

My Rem Nicole! You are the child of mine who made me a mother.  One of the best callings I could ask for.  You changed my life in ways I could not imagine. Watching you grow has been one of the most rewarding things.  Seeing your desire to learn new things I can hardly keep up with you. Before you were born I worried how I was going to teach you all that you need to know.  Fortunately for me you learn new things before I realize you're capable of understanding them! You are SO smart.  You love to read books, sing songs, dance, etc.  You are also very sensitive which I believe comes with the territory of how aware you are of everything that goes on around you, you never miss a thing.  I believe you can do anything you wish, like your dad you are extremely talented in everything.  You are so beautiful. You have perfect skin, big beautiful lips, big brown eyes with long brown eyelashes.  I hope you always feel beautiful.  You love being a sister.  I was so nervous to bring a new baby into our home. I didn't want you to feel replaced or anything less.  You have never expressed that, you've only shown love and excitement.  I feel like you see how much having a brother is going to enrich your life and that makes me so happy.  Thank you for being my daughter, thank you for loving me unconditionally even when I'm not the best mom. Know that I will also love you unconditionally forever and always.  I love you baby girl!